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[23 Aug 2006|02:20pm] |
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New livejournal.
Go.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) styg_tori
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[17 Aug 2006|10:44am] |
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY RISSY
hahahah :D
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[10 Aug 2006|08:04pm] |
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I feel depressed. But not the usual Tori-Depression like upset and sad and mopey all day long. It's like on the outside I feel fine I guess, just kind of content, but on the inside I hurt, literally. I feel like there's so much going on in my head and I don't know how to organize it all. It seems like stress too, but then I just get really down on myself inside. It's not a very good feeling and I want it to go away.
It's probably because of leaving Georgia. It hurts, it really does. I never knew I could like a boy this much.
On top of that, school is starting, and that's even more depressing.
I don't want to be sad anymore.
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[25 Jul 2006|09:35am] |
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Leaving for Thousand Oaks today, spending the night,
and then waking up at 4 am to catch my 7:30 flight
to Atlanta.
I could not sleep last night because I am
that excited. It's weird how I get all giddy like a little
girl going to the zoo for the first time or something like that.
I still get butterflies when I see him. :]
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[20 Jul 2006|08:28am] |
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Leaving for San Diego soon for a basketball tournament...
Then coming home on Sunday...
Then doing laundry yet again and packing YET AGAIN,
after that is accomplished in two days I will be driving to Thousand Oaks on Tuesday,
and after spending the night on Wednesday I will get up early and fly out to Atlanta to spend a week with Austin :]
I've been living out of a suitcase for 3/4 of my summer,
and I love it.
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[17 Jul 2006|01:49pm] |
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If I get to go to Atlanta next Tuesday I will be happier than ever.
you love it
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| I'M 17! |
[05 Jul 2006|02:51pm] |
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My 17th Birthday was on July 3rd, and it was way better than yours.
So get out.
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[29 Jun 2006|05:44pm] |
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she said some days I feel like shit
some days I wanna quit and just be normal for a bit
I don't understand why you have to always be gone
I get along but your trips always feel so long
and I find myself trying to stay by the phone
cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone
but I feel like an idiot, working my day around a call
and when I pick up I don't have much to say, so...
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[24 Jun 2006|04:05pm] |
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i cried so hard when i took him to the airport but i don't even know why. it's not like i won't see him in a month, sheesh. i guess it's just hard. i don't really think i spent as much time with him as i wanted to, but going back to georgia will be fun and i can't wait.
p.s. coldstones boy, i do not look familiar. you are denied.
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[17 Jun 2006|10:13am] |
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[13 Jun 2006|03:55pm] |
I really don't know what I'm doing with myself
I don't know if I'm right
I don't really know if I like the person I am anymore
yesterday was a day of thinking and crying
don't ask me why cause I just don't know
just thinking and crying
I've learned I'm not as strong and I claim to be
I guess I'm really insecure
I guess I don't give people a chance
I've learned I'm kinda unapproachable
I wish I was more lively maybe, outgoing
I've come to know that I am a ridiculously jealous person
I've learned that I crave for attention
I think what I dislike in people is really what I am
I realized I hide a lot of my feelings pretty damn well
I'm not the person I thought I was I guess
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[10 Jun 2006|01:55pm] |
So my brother and his little friends have been boxing in one of the guys' backyards, so I thought I'd share this. My brother is one of the biggest kids there. His little nickname: "Bomb Squad". He's wearing the bball shorts with the white design thingy on the side. Please enjoy him gettin' gnarly.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp5Q0B8l61A
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[01 Jun 2006|06:32pm] |
Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places
You're off and away.
You have brains in your head
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.
You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
You're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.
And you may not find any
you'll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you'll head straight out of town.
It's opener there,
in the wide open air.
Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen,
don't worry. Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too.
Oh,
The places you'll go.
You'll be on your way up
You'll be seeing great sights
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.
You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don't
Because, sometimes, you won't.
I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.
You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.
You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.
And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin,
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?
And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...
...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.
No.
That's not for you.
Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.
With banner flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy.
Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done
There are points to be scored. There are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame. You'll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.
Except when they don't.
Because, sometimes, they won't.
I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.
All Alone
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.
And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.
But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.
On and on you will hike
and I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.
You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?
Yes. You will, indeed
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)
Kid, you'll move mountains.
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[31 May 2006|02:53pm] |
I had a really good heart-to-heart conversation with Camille today and it made me really relieved. It was so nice randomly getting into a deep conversation in the back of Mrs. K's classroom because she's a person I trust, and I know she doesn't judge me and I don't judge her. I love you Cami.
Besides that there is only 7 more days till Austin comes back home and I can't wait.
Oh, and for future reference to anyone. Don't talk about anything negetive regarding the love of my life because I'll pretty much snap and yell at you in the middle of class even if you sit on the completely other end of the classroom. I learned that about myself today...
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[22 May 2006|08:51am] |
summer/senior goals/events:
SAT II on june 3rd
austin coming on june 8th
rissy coming at the beginning of summer as well
grand opening of Sacred Gypsy in Bako
summer basketball through july
my birthday july 3rd
volunteering
begin admissions essays
out to ATL in august
retake SATs if necessary
apply to UCI, San Diego State, Long Beach State, UCRiverside, UC Santa Cruz, etc.
get into fucking UCI
reuniting with austin and rissy for good
peace out on Santa Maria and start loving life again...
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[19 May 2006|05:39pm] |
I miss my boyfriend terribly. I seriously just got into the most depressed mood ever. I want everything back to normal. Thank God I get to pick up his cute self from the airport in about 20 days. My life consists of countdowns now. I'm not really happy with the present anymore I'm just always looking forward to something in the future. I guess that keeps me going but it get's pretty hard.
I'm sick of people coming up to me all the time asking me if we're still together, and then seeing the surprised "wtf" reaction on their face after I tell them "yes". I'm tired of everyone saying "dude he could be cheating on you as we speak", "you're willing to be in such a long distance relationship?", and "that's probably the worst thing ever...no offense." It makes me sick to my stomach when people talk to me like that. I found something so perfect and it was taken away from me, almost for good. Sometimes I seriously just want to throw up that he was about to end it in March. It really makes me hate myself.
Despite all the negetives that make up my life, I'm really happy that we're together. It gives me something to look forward too, even though I never know when I'm going to see him next.
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[13 May 2006|09:39am] |
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life's hard.
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[03 May 2006|05:08pm] |
Hey best friend, I love you.
And remember when this picture was taken and it took us forever to find that stupid church, and you spit in whats-her-faces hair. And we danced all up on each other to Max's band. We're hot.
p.s. thanks ashley for sending me that picture. even though I cut everyone out for this haha.
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